1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
