We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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