Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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