I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
