did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
