You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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