he wants to bone in the snuggie
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
