5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
