pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
