Barsexuality is the new black.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
