just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
