Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
