I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize