i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
