Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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