this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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