Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
