It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
