Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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