he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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