I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
