You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
