You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize