Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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