: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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