Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
