its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
