White coat. Heels.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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