Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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