If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
