how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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