It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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