Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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