did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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