At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
