Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Randomize
