did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
