We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
