Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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