you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
