I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize