dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
