Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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