I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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