brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
