i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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