i just google imaged poop.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
