Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
