Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
