Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
