I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
