why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
