I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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