if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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