Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
