my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
