"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My life is pants optional.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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