yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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