You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
