How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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