he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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