I accidentally had phone sex last night
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
