so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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