thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
