I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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