Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
